baby angel james blankie

as i stood in the nicu nursery tonite, with my great nephews tiny hand clutching my finger, I prayed harder than Ive prayed in a long time. Now, I knwo that you dont have to pray "hard" for god to hear you ,but this time I felt the need.

this dear little baby, so tiny, so frail, and hanging on so hard to life. so far we know his PDA is closing, his oxygen level is getting better, he has a blood culture infection, and now his little belly is swelling --and he is brusing -- they are saying words like nephritis and gangrene, and talking terms like "life threatening" and worry.

As I knit and crochet and try to give him gifts full of love and warmth, as I hold my niece and try to say the right thing, as I try to explain to my brother what is going on and skim over the pain for my dad -- as i watch valerie struggle with her own battles, as i cling to my faith and pray to my god, I am amazed at how much emotion thisl ittle tiny 1 lb. 3 oz .baby can evoke
be well baby james and know that you are loved.

beach tote

excellent beach tote. loved the pattern and putting it on my shoulder makes me remember all thetimes I slung a tote over my shoulder and headed to the beach when I was a teen. This one looks just like I wanted, its cool beans

Sweet Baby James

interestingly enough, I dont spend a lot of time with my extended family. I am busy, I guess, I teach, maintain a large house, have a great husband, and try to make a difference in the lives of my own 3 children as often as possible. But, I am guilty of not seeing mybrother, cousins, and nieces and nephews as much as I should. I love them all. often think of them and something Id like to make them, or say to them, or do with them.

but time is short, and its easy to get lazy on the couch and vow to do it later.

but then something happens. Tony goes to war, Al gets in a car crash, and now, Rose, my sweet niece, gives birth to a baby, 16 weeks early.

Little Angel James was born on April 17, 2008, his great grandmothers birthday. he entered this side a tiny 1lb. 3 oz. barely 11 inches long, unable to breathe on his own or cry that sweet newborn cry, but here none the less and fighting hard to stay,

So Aunt Cindy kicked in. I dont know how I can related to so many people who are so stupid. My oldest brother doesnt even have enough sense to be here for his little brother, the babies granddad. I received no less than 3 calls telling me "rose lost the baby", Lori tries to talk serious business with a new mom trying to pump mlk for the first time.

but there is no lack of love, and that is what is keeping this dysfunctional family functioning. That, and for the first time in his life, my brother is sober and sane and together enough to be the father and grandfather that rose and angel james needs. the baby monitor above his little head read "baby cold" so I knitted him a hat, and booties. his little skin is not yet able to stand the pressure of the yarn, but as soon as he grows a little bit he will be cold no more, ever. I'll make sure of that.

And now Im thinking about the bassinet Im going to buy to have for this baby to lay in our family room, because Ive got a feeling that around august, when he really gets home, hes gonna need a quiet place to come every now and then.

broo ha ha

got myself in a little broo ha ha over at ravelry. had joined the adhd group -- seemed kind of fun, but then they started a thread about home schooling. I got into a ah hem, discussion, about the merits and cons of, as well as my feeling that being a mom doesnt make you a teacher. boy did I hit a nerve. Oh, well, I guess a spirited discussion is good for the bloodpressure and circulation. So, i wandered away from the adhd crowd, Im afraid theyre a little too intense for me. I mean, Im just in it for the knitting, you know???

Lets Go Mets

Its done!!!! gonna send it to Gregg on Monday. I love this silly hat.

knitted it on circular needles, used a technique where it looks like separate triangles but its really one.

lets go mets

all three pieces of Greggs hat are done, blocked and waiting to be put together tomorrow.

wish it was this easy to put a life or a relationship back together. i miss my relationship with my daughter--she is drifting away again -- hopefully she will find her way back to us before it is too late.

greggs hat

well, as i work on greggs hat I wonder why I always go towards gregg when I am making something new? I think it has something to do with the fact that he is so accepting and funny and he loves my daughter sooooo much, I just keep wanting to do things for him

the hat is about half done, I cant wait to see it on his silly head.