Monday, February 16, 2009

obsession

for the past two years I been pretty much obsessed with needles. Not IV needles, but knitting needles, needles and hooks. about the time my youngest daughter came to me with the admission that she was very sick I picked up my needles and with every stitch maintained my sanity. I knit constantly. she is in recovery, but I continue to fight for my center, my own sense of peace. so I knit. and knit. i knit instead of cooking, cleaning, exercising, I knit when my husband would rather me be upstairs with him. I knit in the car, in the kitchen, at the beach, in the bathroom, ( i know, i know), I knit at work on my lunch break, I knit on the train, on the floor, on the couch. I have a knitting chair, in the sun room, where I knit when I really need to SEE my stitches. I knitted when i was in the hospital recovering from heart surgery, I will knit on Wednesday when I await the birth of my first grandchild. I have chronicled my projects on Ravelry and flickr, but i really dont celebrate the finish as much as the start. I cant wait to start the next project, because if Im knitting, well, Im busy, Im important, I matter. I cant self pity or indulge, or argue with my daughter, or worry, because, see, Im knitting.

i wonder if the switch will turn off some day. If I will return to my studio to pick up the quilting and sewing that has been pretty much ignored for the past 2 years, or if I will someday focus on exercise or a new job or anything other than the wonderful threads and yarns and soft wooden needles which form so much of my day.

right now, not so much. Im knitting. and Ive been thinking about this post for the last two days but didnt have time to write it because I had to finish the monkey and work on moms scarf and start Taresa's shawl.....