Wednesday, December 24, 2008

christmas eve

here i sit, 6 am on Christmas eve. the tree is lit in the florida room, beautiful, huge, 8 feet wide ==sparkling just like they did when there were babies gathered around it all those years ago. my needles lie untouched this morning, no way Im going to finish Joes socks, but I did get one done, so I will wrap it up with the promise that number 2 will be finished by New years.

and there is sort of a peace in the house. I am reasonably sure that everyone is fine. dad is struggling, and joe is on the threshhold of a new life, Valerie working on getting herself whole and healthy,Taresa trying to get home, and I feel that it will all be ok. Christmas optimism? or maybe just a realization that I really dont control all of this, or much of any of it, really. All i can do is my best, and love them all and be here when they need me -- and trust that I will begiven the strength to handle whatever comes down the road next.

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